Feeling so farni in me all of a sudden....:(

Haiz..what am i feeling...I dun even know it myself...


What am i feeling...so farni that i would have this kinda feel in me...me and my very gd fren...yes...we do everthing togethre, share everthing together tho we just know one another for barely just months..But it seems likes ages that we have already known one another..I confide almost all things to her..People has been telling me sometimes getting too fast in a friendship is not very good too...But perhaps i stay by my own belief still and always...

My colleagues all told me it is ok if you like the same stuffs...But if you like the saem guy one day...what would happen...Be it my character and with my low self-esteem, i guess i will withdraw and give up..i will...more to the fact if that person is really close to me..my close fren? Yes..i guess i regarded as 1...i teng her..care for her..totally disregarding the fact even if she is loud n harsh and moreso in-sensitive...I have long regarded her like my sis..caring and seeing her find happiness perhaps is the best that i could do..that's i would choose to withdraw without even having to be be given a choice..

I did ask her just a few daes ago...If we ahppen to like the same person, wad would she do...She sae is actually ok..It depends on who that person likes...Very much agreed...Yet, my ans to her was "I would choose to withdraw away from it" . Y..?Perhaps i had too low self-esteem ba...I lost out in alot of areas to her..Shes prettier..slimmer..taller..fairer..sociable..friendly and yadah...yadah..I oso dunnoe wad else to sae...

Am i still facing a identity crisis? I think she has more confidence..know what she wants and am sure she could get it..But im just someone who lacks confidence and has low self-esteem in comparative with her..Is this really the point?really the case?

Or am i just being jealous that she is getting all the attention? that ppl are showing interest in her and not me? Perhaps if i think abt it in a better way, i will feel better..Do i like her? thats y i would feel left out? Coz i noe if once she had a new target..Perhaps we wouldnt be that close animre...the chance is very high this wae tho..Perhaps i still couldnt get rid of this fetish of being once a 'crooked'...it still runs in my blood...Silly ger, withdrawn need not be spoken, if you are happy just go ahead and do it..I be quietly supporting u...


"When feelings comes, it need not matter what kind it will be...it'll just comes like the swift of the wind..."

Love,

Nana, B