Why would i feel this way...?

Why am i feeling this way...I thought i am just supposed to ...protect her?


What is happening? What is exactly that i want now..IT seems to be so long since my No Confidence level and inferiority complex came back..Now i ain't feeling any good..If i just maintain the kind of just taking care of her and not think of anything else, would i be able to do just that? If i am able to do it, perhaps i wont feel so "xinku" animre...

My dear B is always better den me in every aspects and isn't it gd? Why am i feeling all the inferiority complex? Hmm...Perhaps if i don't happen to like that person ...perhaps things would'nt be that bad rite? My B is pretty, nice, lovable, chatty, arm up faster, got her own style and attitude, taller and everybody likes her..She is popular and seem that no one can resist her..Itz just a charm that she has that really makes everyone goes gaga over her...Not to say those guys, even i myself couldn't resist it as a female...It is just that charm in her...4ever so lasting and 4ever so nice and sweet...But pls ppl out dere, if you wana her go aniwhr or get to know her, kindly do it urself and dun think as if i go, she will go tho we are very close..It only make me feel my existence of value is bcuz of her thats y im being valued..I felt very upset...I "teng" her enuff to if ignore all this..But wen things get too much, it is just overwhelming at times..It make me feel upset standing beside her..that i am just so "maio xiao"...You get it B..Perhaps you wnt feel it this wae cox you are not the one in my shoes..But that is wad im exactly feeling now...

b, i fully wanted to concentrate just to take care of you and stuffs but when i see such a overwhelming grp of guys are all around you, i can thelp but feel upset and stand just aside...thinking to myself..Y are u that popular...am i that pathetic or shld i start chnging my mentality mindset aldy...I think i should coz im feeling so much pain with all this thoughts...

I dropped a sms to B just now pouring out my thoughts...i wonder how and what she will see thru that sms...Would she understand . or would she chose to ignore it? Sometimes i guess it oso...


Hmm...Am i just too sensitive? Think too much? It is happening that is y i would think of all this..i seriously doesn't want it to affect our friendship...That is oso y i kept keeping quiet..
How sad...I want her to be happy, yet i can't overcome my own barrier.What am i exactly to do..


So tired at times...i think will jus concentrate on protecting her ba....B...i guess i will just have to learn to handle myself better...:p