~Upsetting~Dilemma~

Why is things turning out this way?


Felt so upset always after a quarrel session with mum. She told me i have changed? Im no longer like b4..I always come home late now and they dun even get to see me very often especially my dad..Hmm, what should i say? Is it really bcoz of B? Is it really beoz that they are Malaysian and their parents are all not in Sg..That is why they are more free to anithing that they want and not me? Coz i have a family to commit to..I must always rem that i have parents and brothers at home. Not being at home so often shouldn't be the wae at all..At least to my mum, this is how they feel? Is that really the case?


Ya, i do admit i wana spend more time with B..And i noe i am already doing it at the expense of my family..Is it bcoz i "ai wan" that is y i kip wanting to be outside instead of home? Or it is just my character? I dunnoe..i onli noe recently we have been having quarrels & bickering over all this stuffs about me being not at home treating home like a hotel?


I went to the fortune teller and i remember something that he said suddenly..He said i intend to shift out of my house next yr iszit? Hmm...At that point of time, i really din think much of it..Upon thinking bck now, it might be true after all..Hmm..Dilemma..

Im no longer a kid, i dunnoe...i want time with my family too..but it ishard to make them understand actually that's how i felt..Haiz..nothg else to sae..tired..end here...


If given a choice, what exactly would i do, and what decision would i make? I dunnoe..

Been some time..

Been some time since i log into here...

Today is 20th Oct..i login agn after so long..Dunnoe y..Perhaps getting too tired to write animre..
Having to always think of wad to write..My b..looking for a room for her..She is shifting out of her bf house.. So anibody has any lobang for master bedroom, air-con, $300-$400, near Central and without owners..Am looking for it now lo..Kinda urgent..Do let me know if ya have it k..hee Aiya..alot of things on my mind bt dunnoe wad to write..Am thinking if i can shift out, that wld be gd..At least i could share the burden with ah b and she need not worry so much..but i cant..haiz..

Jus met up with Xt the other dae for awhile while waiting for ah b to finish class...Saw Xt and somehow dunnoe y..the kind of familiar feeling still revolves ard ...Feel safe toking and staying close to her..hmm..Wad kinda feel is tis..?I dunnoe myself too..Jus am glad to have this kinda feeling...

My ah b think sleeping now le..Dunnoe y something kips weighing on my mind..bt jus din noe wad iszit abt..haiz...4get abt it..

Perhaps go slp now dun tnk so much wld be better..feel so sien abt life suddnely..really boring...a person with nthg to my name..wf no monies and stuff..haiz...time to recollect and pick myself up..start earning mre monies...get a clear mindset and nthg else..that should be my goal...


Tell myself i could do it no matter how hard..Yes, i be able to...work towards my goal..:)

Am i ...Am i not....I think i am....

Is this what world is gona do to me..having to go thru this sequence yet again..How many true is there in every different r/s..?


我想我真的已动真情了。。爱上不该爱的人只有一连连的痛苦。。。为何又让我跌进这个无法自拔的无底洞。。。

这难到就是我的命垮吗？

I live in happiness everyday deriving from my loved ones thinking her to be just that distant only..But did i realise i had already fallen in it? Till an unexpected figure that called me up to tell me so...Yes, you did, dun avoid, you have already fallen deep into it without my own realisation..Is that really the case? I seriously hope not coz im happy and satisfied the wae things are now..Really doesnt want to jeapordise anything..Am no longer like b4..I need not own someone to let the person now i care and they matters...It lives in my heart..& the person will noe..The scarificies perhaps will be hard and painful for me but certainly happiness for her..as long i had a little place in her heart...

我无冤无悔。。。4ever wishing you be that happy and free of worries..


Nana :)