Just felt like doing nothing at times...

Hmm..Hmm...

Sometimes, at the back of my head, i jus felt like doiong nothing and just do what my usual routine was...not think of anything else...not bothered abt wadever things that is going to come str8 at me..

Yesterday was a kinda fine dae..until she msg me...asking me did i go Club95 bcoz that i wanna meet her up..hmm, i dun deny i wish to see her that's y...Buy her ending message just seem so sacarstic.." Whoa..nice timing..So very free now right?" Doesn't it sond saca? Ya..at least it sound this wae to me..I dunoe wad to expect from this as i dun understand why is there a need for her to do this..If i have a choice, i would also wish i could stop my lessons earlier..

Wadever..words now are jus nothing but past encounters..Y bother so much when the more you try to do something, the more it might backfire..

Things in life at times are just meant to be...left to be...perhaps it will be better..Dun you think so..?

Have been keeping myself busy recently so that that she will not sip back into my mind...coz if i start thinking, it will be never ending..But guess reality is still cruel, once everything is back on the normal route, the images will comes in once again..i just have to cope..i gota learn...i noe i have to...

Just went to Shenglong place to rail my voice away last nite.. haha how interesting..was praised for the vocals and felt so happy upon hearing that...at least, my efforts and time was not wasted..Hmm...Njoyed the whole session last nite! whoa...Think i should go home practice more on my songs le..Competitions coming up..gota prepare so much stuffs..lalalalala..guess, this is the only thing that will liven up my spirits and not let me think about anything else..At least for the time being..*Ponders*


*Ding* *Ding* * Ding*----- Today after work will be time for lessons again..Must really brush up well on my lyrics and chinese men...hehe Lolx..


"Tiring tuesday...back to work now...a dae past..a dae past...i past a dae...which is not my dae...i live my life day by day...that is my life for now.."

Mobile Message...

手机留言

我一个人独自开着车 在这熟悉不过回家途中
空着的前座 仿佛路没尽头
房里你睡过的双人床 浴室镜台上落单的牙刷
现在都寂寞 只有狗陪伴我
朋友说 你走了 劝我别想的太多
你说过 你爱我 手机里的留言你曾这么说

你给我的留言 反复听了几遍
短短几句 像看见你的脸
没了你我只能 活在回忆里面
删除它勇敢一点
决定爱你之前 对爱轻描淡写
你微笑着说 有我你会快乐
守候我的电话 变成你的寄托
那一年的冬天 被你感动

站在镜前反复的思索
镜里的我样子渐渐朦胧 认不出我

担心爱情永远 难以实现
守候你的电话 不再是我的寄托
没有了你 我学着重新生活


Above Quoted: From dblx words of wisdom..

" There is never day that i am waiting..what am i exactly waiting for..Waiting os just only a form of acceptance of what you are going thru..When one day nothing comes in anymore, the old gap will be filled up by a new someone..That will be the day you know she has to really go..."

Inside your Heaven...

Inside Your Heaven

I've been down
Now I'm blessed
I felt a revelation coming around
I guess it's right, it's so amazing
Everytime I see you I'm alive
You're all I've got
You lift me up
The sun and the moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way
I wanna be earth that holds you
Every bit of air you're breathing in
A soothing wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

When we touch, when we love
The stars light up
The wrong becomes undone
Naturally, my soul surrenders
The sun and the moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

And I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way
And I wanna be the earth that holds you
Every bit of air you're breathing in
A soothing wind

I wanna be inside your heaven
When minutes turn to days and years
When mountains fall,
I'll still be here
Holdin you until the day I die
And I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way

I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way
I wanna be earth that holds you
Every bit of air you're breathing in
A soothing wind
I wanna be inside your heaven
Oh yes I do...


Above Quoted: From dblx words of wisdom..

"I see truth and light in life but yet darkness is still engulfing around..One day i know i will see.. twingling light at the end of the stretch of my hands...Im waiting..."

Finally today is Friday...Weekend time...

[[ Finally, the days goes by & it is Friday again... ]]


Friday, friday...Itz friday again..the end of the week always smells and taste better ..Hehe..Guess what..i am not at work today..Y? Coz i have been sufferring from bad stomach cramps dunoe due to what la...that i have to take MC lor...Feel so boring at home..

hmm...came online and saw my very long never contact fren...Ms Piggy Princess..left her a testimonial and chatted with her on msn too..Well, it been so long that i talk to her..but somehow we are still able to relate well to each another...& for the fact that our situation is oso that similar..

Didn't know i still had so much to talk to her and yet being comfortable abt it...the time that we manage to catch up will be when shes back frm her holidays..Hope everything is going on fine for her..Perhaps am happy coz this is a indeed a worthy fren that ive always wanted keep coz she can rally be a good fren in need....If you heard me...!!!! When you come back, we shall go for a drink or 2 k??


Life..life..in my room writing..with no music around me, suddenly i fele the silent of the air around me...the quietness..somehow it sent a tranquil down my soul...so peaceful...im glad i have a few moments of these...In my back head, when everything is silent, i thought of her yet again..


Hows she doing now,..perhaps i should leave her to be alone forsometime, im afraid of things being backfire if im too persistent..but still i will love & care for her as a fren being dere hopefully when she needs...Hope that 1 dae, we be able to cross this barrier and comes out for some drinks & cya each another soon...that will be my greatest wish...


Feeling kinda tired & drowsy aft the medicine but just doesn't wish to go and sleep coz last night the moment i close my eyes..i saw her, of our 1st time, 1st touch, 1st kss at the 1st place...The scene just couldn't get out of my mind...Move on..yes i will, i guess down to the bottom line..age really still plays a difference and a important part in our life..we can't deny the face...But i hope every individual could at least try to fight for it & live for what they want...


I keep thinking as if there seems to be thousands thoughts in my mind...& i guess i will keep on writing till the day i've run out of things to write..i will carry on..

A sudden thought of Gac..wondering what this long old fren of mine is doing...She has been a great fren..Hopefully one day we will get to put all those unhappy stuffs behind us and get to talk again..Cheers..shall be going see my ah ma in hospitl later after which think will meeet up with ym for some drinks..Maybe i will go down ecp too...to recapture some of the 4ever lingering memories...

& yes, my beloved fren, keefe..shall mit up one dae go happy and see see look look k? I really should not keep my cooped myself my in my room animre..Waiting for you hor & be happy too in wadever you are doing...you are indeed a worthy fren that pulls me thru the darkest period of time...I thank you here...

Thanks my ever beloved good bro.....

Knocking off...Finally..Lessons & Thoughts again...

A hard day is finally over...waiting for lesson...waiting...just made me think yet again...


Our Song that comes into my mind at this point of time...(Mei you Ni De Mei Yi Tian) - Xu Jie Er

It is finally knocking off time..a terrible day at work..Work & work & more work..the work just seem never ending..just seem so overloaded..So sianz..Why do i feel so demoralised..Never once a happy words that came out from me..Haha

Happiness..? What is happiness? What does happiness derive from..?I no longer felt any true happiness since the day i started on the job that i doesn't like but doesn't have a choice over..I no felt anything since the day she decided to leave..I no longer felt im the ever that once jovial bubbly ME that was always jumping and rattling about..

Sometimes wondering to myself ...what has exactly happen to myself that made my life turn out this way..I will noe...i might noe...but not now..Everytime i started writing my blog, this song (Tong Hua) have to be so timely to be broadcasted now..What a thing...

I have thousands and 1 things to say, feel and write...just din noe where and how to start..the flow just wasn't smooth...I felt..yes,....i felt something...listening to this song agn, i thought of her ...thinking of her in my mind, thinking of what is she doing now, thinking of her smiles, her big hands, her big arms that used to wrapped around me..

Is she? Was she? thinking of me now too....?i dun know..But i am..despite everything you have done to back me off..to make me happy..to make me hurt..i only felt more for you..more and never ending..

Perhaps this is what you called painful love...i think i am afraid to fall in love...afraid of the feeling that i have to face once a r/s is over..it hurts just too much...I wish to just let it go...If only i could...im trying to cope still...trying to get over it at this evening of te day..wishing you be happy no matter where you are..what you are doing...for wadever it becomes, you will still be my ever beloved....eeyore....


"Till time do us part, at the breakwater where we swore and spent our 1st of everthing, we had our love marked on the sand where the sun becomes our witnesses...I miss you lots every mins of the day...Love ya* Kiss*...."


Waiting for my fren to pick me up..ready for lessons yet again..*Phew*..

Way of Love in Life...

Reverie Of Love

An Para extracted from my friend, of the exact thoughts that was running in my mind...

Spend all the time waiting for that second chance, for a break that would make it okay. There's always one reason to feel not good enough and it's hard at the end of the day. So tired of the straight line and everywhere I turn, there's vultures and thieves at my back and the storm keeps on twisting and keep on building the lie that makes up for all that is lacking. I need some distraction... beautiful release - memory seeps from my veins. It don't make no difference - escaping one last time and it's easier to believe, in this sweet madness; this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees. Let me be empty and weightless and... maybe, I'll find some peace tonight.

"From this dark cold room and the endlessness that I fear, pulled from the wreckage of silent reverie..."

"With my revolving mind, it is all filled with you.."

Spinning Head..Teary Eyes...Images of You...

A Song to Mark Our Story: "Tong Hua" ( Guan Liang )

Today is Wednesday..22 Jun 05 and here i am in the office listening to my mp3 CD while working..Alot of thoughts started flooding into my mind..All your images..your smiles, your eyes, your smirkish look, your ever loving & tender kiss..It just make me feel so much like tearing..Every single words that i wrote was just so felt with tears swelling to the brim of my eyelids..Why am i feeling this way..

I thought i could just keep myself busy and not think anything about it..Perhaps things will just go off and i won't feel so terrible..But a pity, it didn't..the more i tried pushing it away, the more the images of you came back into my mind engulfing all spaces of my brain that i couldn't breathe anymore..It has always been hard to pull myself thru all these emotional tracks..even all the more diffcult now when i know we still love each another deeply..but yet we can't seem to do anything about it..I have so much bottling in me that i wish i could tell you but i couldn't..Even our parting is over the sms..It has since been that long that i heard your voice, your laughter..

Whenever i hear the song "Tong Hua" i will get reminded of our story..a story called our very own..A story noone else can replace..in our little book, you made a big blotch which ended the page with all the lingering memories..Has everything really ended for us..Our love so deep yet seem so far and unreachable..The heart wrenching pain of every single moments that we once spent together can only be felt close in my dreams..

Will you be back one day...i dun noe..." If fate decrees one day down the route, i wish for our love to be rekindled once again".. There are too much things that i no longer know and am unsure of..Everything seem just so far away now..Perhaps i have really been the one not treasuring the r/s, the love, the time,..Now everything just seem too late, you told me..yes..Feeling of Love for each another is still there yet it is already not possible to be back together..Everything is just too late..The pain that was in my heart is no longer describeable..It cuts thru deep that tears & blood just seems to blend as a whole..

I know those are your spite words to make me back off, make me give up, make me 4get you..I wish i could ..at least i won't feel that terrible..I can't...Girl...I still love you that much eversince the day you step into my life, leaving your footprints in my heart forever...

How would i be able to forget you..i can't and i won't want..Perhaps this is how i should carry on with my life..bringing all the memories along with me whenever i go..

One day, when dusk set, i be dere...awaiting for daybreak..awaiting for the sun, the feel and the person..If fate ever will decrees for us..we will eventually see each another dere..the 1st place where our love starts....*kiss


* There is nothing like a seasoned bottled of red wine awaiting to be opened, just with the right opportunity..*

Hurting Words...Helpless Feel...

"The splitting heartache that comes hurts more then anything else with all these words inflicted..."

Today is the 1st time i am starting on this blog page after much persuasion from my frenz..I decided to start on it and write wadever fustration and thoughts i have here..My ever deepest inner thoughts that no one knew...

Her message to me this morning only left me heartbroken recollecting all the bits and pieces that was left of me the day she left...

Her: " Why is all these coming only now..Have a great dae ahead..forget about me...

Me: " U noe i wnt 4get you..i wnt..perhaps u aldy find it too late..perphaps i realise it 2 late.yes. i did...bt still, i wana do it coz tis is wad i reall i felt.."

Her: " You haven even tried..why say you wont..if you really dont try..i make you forget me..no point clinging onto the past when everything is too late.

Me: " Y do u wan to kip insisting me 2 4get you ..u noe it deep in nt jus my heart tt we both wnt..yes, it is late..does that mean we shldnt n cnt try animre...y cnt we give each another another chance 2 work it out..

Her: " I dont trust trust realtionshiip animre! i will forget you, who say i wont..

Me: " U hurt me with ur words..yes, u dun trust me animre ..im e one who kips clinging 2 u .unable to giv u the trust 2 even rebuild our r/s together.. i cnt force you 2 have the trust in me..bt i wish you will..my strength alone is nt even enuff..

Her: " Its meant to hurt you..there's no more hope in between us..get it? just let go..you dont used to msg me, so stop messenging me. Ive kept everything to myself and i think you should too and stop ruining my work by your suprise sms//go ecp..go lo..ive stop gg dere even since before we broke up..you go there for what? To reminisce the times?

Why is it that humans are always that contradicting..Why is it that you know you still love that person yet you dare not to love just bcuz of a failed attempt once..Why is everything just so unexplainable.. My heart shattered the moment she left me..Who can understand that..I am never gonna be the same ME anymore..for a very simple reason..Bcuz it is her...

No one can replace the memories that we once shared and hold together..Girl, if you can hear me, no one can replace the love that we had too..It belongs to us and us alone..The thought of you holding me in yours arms, those tender whisper, those caring eyes, those assuring hugs are all gone..

Sometimes how i just miss you so...just so much..Girl, *hugs* i wish you happiness...

Memories & your everlasting footprints will stay embedded in my heart forever....

This song holds our memories...

没有你的每一天 (徐婕兒)

回家的路總是很遠 話少得很可憐
一個人的晚餐 都是孤單的滋味
看見身邊重复上演 屬於我們的畫面
選擇逃避的眼 怎麼還是會流淚

愛著你的每一天 你就是我的世界
那時候還以為 我就愛這一遍
没有你的每一天 快樂離我好遙遠
心已隨你走了 還能用什麼感覺

我捨不得睜開眼睛 害怕身邊没有你
也許在夢境裡 是我們最近的距離
想念你温熱的手心 冷風裡把我握緊
冬天又來臨 這温度該怎麼延續

謝謝你曾經愛過我 給我最美的經過
但生命最愛被剝奪 未來的路該怎麼走


Life without you around just seem so different...