Memorable moments...

What a memorable moments @ PW....


Nothing much for joting down todae...XT flew to Perth yesterdae, left me a farewell msg asking me to take care ..Hugs..She left for training...Suddenly i misses her so much...Dunnoe why this sudden feel in me...Aniwae she be gone for around 2 weeks...Hope to see her soon.. :)


had been spending some time with my B..Made me feel happy...Just being with her make me feel just so tired but relaxed..Got the news from her she will be going back her hometown (KL)next year..which is real soon...All of a sudden, have been thinking..it is so ahrd to find this best sis & buddy of mine..and just as we built this friendship..shes leaving that soon and not coming back for good...Cant hep but feel upset and sad..Knew i will miss her...Knew there will already be a distant dere tho friendship will never end...I will miss U BB...


Ace ahs been a real good fella..thru all the times that we noe him till now..he is really a trustworthy fren..Appreciate that i knew him..Hope we will always maintain this friendship too...:p

Bro, so long never see ya comments..so quiet...do drop a note wen ya free sia..now my mind total go yo! hahaha dunnoe what i myself am thinking le...Just doin what im happy and suppose to..Cheers! :)


"Really Love all the people above mentioned here"...haiz...:p

Is my thoughts really that negative...?

Am i such a negative person...?


"Sometimes when we touch, the honesty so much..." - A song that i once so liked..

Whenever we went to ktv...i would always like to hear my B sing Cantonese song and "Tai Wei Qu"...Dunnoe y..just make me relive the past memories agn..Not just the guys are so memerised by her voice, even i myself couldn't help it but fall in love with it..And her Canto song is just so fantastically nice..I think i am really memerised with her...with her vocals, with her, just with her everything...i cant fight the feeling off when faced with my identity crisis..I hope i can take her just as my younger sis..and i am really trying hard to do that and nothing else...i really hope i could succeed in overcoming this barrier of mine...Very soon enuff, her bdae will be coming..(Oct 13). I have yet to think of anything to buy for her yet..Felt like doing something special for her and make it a very special memorable bdae year for her...But am i up to it? ..I dunnoe...i guess i just wana do something just to see her happily celebrating which she loses out all these years..

I feel so deeply attached to her everything now..My life already practically revolved ard her..Was that gd or bad? I dunnoe it myself too..I just hope to protect her while i still can...while i'm still around..to make sure she's not hurt or bullied..I guess for her everything is worth it...Everybody has been asking me..is it worth it? to do so many things for her? Would she came to realise and appreciate it? I chose to believe that she will and she knows it..

Know what..out of a sudden thought, din noe y i have been kiping in touch with my ex.Im always the one taking the initiative to call her chit chat for aawhile, ask her out ...but the coming out has never materilised as she is flying to Perth this Thurs for VB training...All of a sudden, i have been thinking...y am i suddenly thinking of her? Am i missing her right now?Y is it that she has never take the effort to msg or call me? I dunnoe...Just 1/2 an hr ago, i thought of asking her " Have you already moved on?" ...But in the end, i never got the courage to ask..Perhaps i just doesn't dare face it..My heart seem to still wavied very much to my past..I was so much more relaxed and happy...the attention, the feel all came so differently..Tho im happy now, it is also bcuz of B that i am happy in my kinda life now..When faced with guys...seriously i dinnoe how to handle myself well at all...That is just so sad...Am i really that negative? Or iszit just that i think earlier for things? Theres pros and cons in everything men...But i just cant feel my luck in wadever things coming...At least that's what i felt..


B on my left, ah pek on my right..Xt in my heart...Just so which is which..what is what...HOw is how?


I guess sometimes i really just think too much..but iszit avoidable? I tried not to think so much..i really tried...but i guess it is really just abt the feel and stuffs men for feeling lost ...In my heart, i wish you well and all the best ger...i still feel as much for ya...B, as for you, no matter wad, i be always dere for you...for you will always be my beloved sis...ah pek, i wonder does even ever a ordinary person catch ur eye one dae?


I am tired...shall rest my mind, my heart now and cast all unpleasant thoughts all aside..Earning lotsa $$$ should be prioty now...isnt it so? To earn more! Buy a car...have spare cash on hand..fetch my B around...my main objective now...Word hard! Kam Ba Dek..! :)


Truely, Madly, Deeply..."I am just so in love with you...." - By Regine & Jacky Cheung...

Why would i feel this way...?

Why am i feeling this way...I thought i am just supposed to ...protect her?


What is happening? What is exactly that i want now..IT seems to be so long since my No Confidence level and inferiority complex came back..Now i ain't feeling any good..If i just maintain the kind of just taking care of her and not think of anything else, would i be able to do just that? If i am able to do it, perhaps i wont feel so "xinku" animre...

My dear B is always better den me in every aspects and isn't it gd? Why am i feeling all the inferiority complex? Hmm...Perhaps if i don't happen to like that person ...perhaps things would'nt be that bad rite? My B is pretty, nice, lovable, chatty, arm up faster, got her own style and attitude, taller and everybody likes her..She is popular and seem that no one can resist her..Itz just a charm that she has that really makes everyone goes gaga over her...Not to say those guys, even i myself couldn't resist it as a female...It is just that charm in her...4ever so lasting and 4ever so nice and sweet...But pls ppl out dere, if you wana her go aniwhr or get to know her, kindly do it urself and dun think as if i go, she will go tho we are very close..It only make me feel my existence of value is bcuz of her thats y im being valued..I felt very upset...I "teng" her enuff to if ignore all this..But wen things get too much, it is just overwhelming at times..It make me feel upset standing beside her..that i am just so "maio xiao"...You get it B..Perhaps you wnt feel it this wae cox you are not the one in my shoes..But that is wad im exactly feeling now...

b, i fully wanted to concentrate just to take care of you and stuffs but when i see such a overwhelming grp of guys are all around you, i can thelp but feel upset and stand just aside...thinking to myself..Y are u that popular...am i that pathetic or shld i start chnging my mentality mindset aldy...I think i should coz im feeling so much pain with all this thoughts...

I dropped a sms to B just now pouring out my thoughts...i wonder how and what she will see thru that sms...Would she understand . or would she chose to ignore it? Sometimes i guess it oso...


Hmm...Am i just too sensitive? Think too much? It is happening that is y i would think of all this..i seriously doesn't want it to affect our friendship...That is oso y i kept keeping quiet..
How sad...I want her to be happy, yet i can't overcome my own barrier.What am i exactly to do..


So tired at times...i think will jus concentrate on protecting her ba....B...i guess i will just have to learn to handle myself better...:p

I feel glad yet at the same time quiet...

Yesterday was our PartyWorld audition dae and my B went thru...!!!


Yes, Yesterday was our partyworld audition. I went together with my cousin and my B together with a sense of enthusiam looking forward to it..But a pity, both me n B was coughing away yesterday and obviously i'm losing my vocals also...I can onli hope for the best.. My B got Group D No. 2 and i got Group D No. 4. While she went inside for the audition, i was quietly listening outside..den i realise bt it that she has cough, she still sang quite well, within just a few sentences, the bell ring, ya..and she got in ! I was really happy for her..I knew she could do it no doubt at all...Her dream of becoming a star is getting nearer soon..

When it came to be my turn, with my voice this way and my kan cheongness, i actually finish the whole song but pitch went flat and below normal standard..Tho, the judge gave me a 2nd chance to sing another song, i was unable to present a better me out..Thanks was all they said n i left..My B was waiting for me outside...With her by my side, i felt at least much comforted..But a sad thing which is, we came together but we are unable to fight alongside by side together...But i will still 4ever be by her side...

I'm really very happy for her yesterday but somehow in a corner part of me, i felt disappointed...yes, for myself that i can't make it and for not being able to sing alongside her..

Whenever i am with her, there is always a mixed complexity of sadness and happiness...The tinge of happiness derived from her, everytime seeing her laugh so happily away made me feel happy too...But wadever things that we do, she will always be more superior den me...In terms of that, when this kinda feel sets, i can't help but feel alittle disappointed..and despondent and inferior...Tho i'll never bring it out to say but somehow i feel it in me...and this feel only i can fel it coz i never brought it out to anione..Sometimes i wonder does she noe? But nevertheless, putting all this aside, i am still very happy for her, the happiness that i felt for her already exceeded my own unhappines...which is gd i guess...

We went to Geylang to celebrate and eat frog leg porridge men! How nice ti was..Drooling..hahaha


Yesterday B told me that that ernie (ultimate rich guy that was interested in her) wanted to ask her stay in his empty semi-detached anitime she wanted to move out..I was de...diao..i wonder what my fren am thinking but of coz i hope she will not do that, i rather hope she cont with this current bf coz this guy of hers are actually quite a good guy to say..Ernie even said wanted to hold a bdae bash for her on her coming bdae..and she need not do anything but njoy...How sad i was to hear that coz i had intended to throw one bash for her too but i guess theres not a need for me to do that anymore..Since some else wanted to do it for her..How i wish i had the ability too...I had the car too...Den perhaps i be able to work wonders...Tho having $$ is not everything but it is definately a neccessities..If i could drive her around, wouldnt that be gd?


Ohs...what am i thinking, her bdae is on Oct 13th..Any idea what to get for her? I can't think of any..I wanted to do something preferbably handmade so that it is more meaningful but nothing concrete came to my mind..Hey bro, think for me leh..date drawing near le..See what can i get or do up for her k?

HAiz...relatively now B seems to have so many suitors..*count fingers) LAst time everynite call me nw oso cut down le bcuz she need to entertain so many ppl now..Guess she kinda like all these attention..Hmm..As long shes happy abt it, den i will support her quietly lor..

What abt me? Hahaha this couple of daes haven been in contact with Ace and Henry ..One online fren, the other a biker...Both seems gd! Hhahaha bt well, no harm to noe more frens la! Hehe Lenard (Singing fren that was 18 yrs older) has been contacting me hard this few daes men..Think eversince he spoken how he felt, he has me so much more daring..Haiz,,a pity la...hes so much older arbo can really consider..

Nothing much to tok abt le esp abt me...But wish everything goes on well, my voice will come back by this Sat for Gao Fei concert..I hope to do it well too..present myself well and come out of the shadow..When can i ever do that? Perhaps i just deosn't have the confidence enuf to do that...Coz i felt i'm never good enuff esp beside her...Haiz...go look at my friendster testi...Am just so touched upon seeing her write those stuffs coz she rarely write testi for ppl one and she dun normally say what she felt..THis time rd, i appreciate all these that she have wrote..I think imy les blood is still fowing more then my str8 blood...Dun you think so? Iguess so...

With this...I gave her the eternity bow that our friendship will certainly last...Huggs...


Nana

What a nice feel....So touched...=)

I never realised happiness was so sweet till i met you in my life..My beloved sis...


A sudden urge to blog in here...been so long since i last saw my bro Keefe!! Aiyo..She MIA le lah the moment she changed job! Wahahaha She doesnt have msn in the office..so "jialat" can..hahaha she la kip telling me her office have pretty babes! What else? hahaha Dun drool wor...Better save ur brains for work!! hahaha Kip in Contact k?

Yayaya...back to my topic..Dunnoe why eversince noeing Jv, i feel that my life has been filled with happiness derived all from her! haha Dunnoe y, just felt so warmth whenever with her..Eversince our cheong dae, we have been busy every day sleeping only at the wee hours and now ya...both of us are sick! wahaha

You noe wad? My B left me a testi homework she called it test and helped me approved it! haha coz she has accessed to my friendster...Haha Upon reaching hm, the 1st thing i did was to chnk the testi, and wen i read it, i was soso fulled of appreciation...Am so touched, just so touched...Touched to the extent my tears nearly swelled up to the brims of my eyes..Seriously frankly speaking, this is the 1st time, i saw and heard all this from her...Her sincere heartfelt words..It is rou ma..yes it was..but i realli like it alot..coz i noe she seldom "hang" all this on her lips...but in the testi she said all out...and i am seriously never any happier then that to see it...Nothing could describe why i "teng" her so much..y i pampered her so much...with this kind of sis...how can i not be so..Shes just so lovely and sweet...

B, just remember no matter wad, i be always here and i promise you this with a cross on my heart k? Luv ya...=)

Friendship Forever....Huggs & Muackssss

Nana

I can't take it if i'm wrongly accused..!

Is this world fair....?


What the fuck! What the heck! Perhaps this is what i wanted to do! Throw all vugarities at that stoopid BlackRose once and for all...Imagine me who doesn't like to scold vugarities can be so angry abt it and scolding it now..This person must have really step on my tail..Tho she doesn't throw the things straight in my face but when news travel to my side it is equivalent the same... Yes, i am not happy coz i hate people who tok behind me esp if it is regarding things that i've never done before..If i feel that i am wrongly accused, i make sure the person will get a hell out of me! I can tolerate alomst anything except being accused..If you shoot me without any evidence and spread the news around till words get to her aunt..I can tell you, you won't get any life better too..Stoopid BlackRose! This nick totalyy suit you adaptly..

It has been so long since i lost my cool and you had to be dere stepping on it re-triggering it..I dun care and won't bother what others say abt me coz i simply dun give a damm! Bt like what i sae if words get to her aunt untruthly, i make sure you pay for my tarnished reputation! Jv is a grown up noww, she noes what to do, what can be done and what shouldn't be done. It is not as if so what if it is the 1st time she is cheonging in Spore? Does that mean she doesn't noe? There is still alot of things that you all people doesn't know..So pls dun jump to conclusion and conclude that i am the one leading her astray. I care for her more then i care for myself. Are you all people even immune and feel that? If i would harm her, i would have long ago lead her astray and stuffs, i need not wait till Wendy comes to jio us b4 going! Get it! Get the facts right b4 you conclude on anything and determine whether a person is good or bad?!

If living till this age and you can't even see that, i can only say you a failure flop! Stop determining others with ya own thinking and think that you are always right! Bullshit! If you even handle urself, leave others out of it for goodness sake! If you wana think the traditional way of thoughts, seiously noone can stop you ..Like what i've said, i be very calm till if you decided to brew wind into matters and blow it up, den..you can be assured i won't let myself be wrongly accused by you..


Pls rem this,...as much as you all 'teng xi' jv, i felt the same wae too and will protect her all the wae ! that's my resonsibility as her sis..If a person gona change to be someone bad, it is not determined by whether she goes to a pub anot..Alot of things that you guys doesn't noe doesn't mean it never happen b4 in this occurance of her life...Dun based on what you understand her superficially to determine you are correct! I can only tell you guys, you are just so wrong...It takes mre then that to understand a person throughly..Even i myself won't dare sae i understand her completelt lest to sae you guys ..


If this is still gona be the wae you guys are thinking, i can't help it and won't do anything abt it..as long my conscience are cleared..I SIMPLY DUN CARE WHAT YOU GUYS THINK. FUCK & HECK OFF!


Disrupted my entire day mood..